Saturday night was rough. I won’t go into details but I was hurt and it brought back a lot of painful memories and thoughts. And on top of that, I was feeling extremely lonely and isolated. I really try to be positive, look at the bright side and to trust God through it all. But sometimes it’s just too much and I can’t. I can’t muster up the strength to react with positivity and joy. Sometimes I need to let the emotions and the pain wash over me and have their way. I need to feel them and let them do their thing. And that’s just what I did.
I prayed, I journaled, I cried out to God and then I just cried. Yet still the pain and loneliness remained. And it was too much. If you have read some of my latest articles you will know I’m giving up TV this month. But I desperately needed a distraction. So I gave in, grabbed a couple of beers and binged on Netflix until 2 am. Not the wisest or godliest choice but it’s what I needed in that moment to make it through the night. The next day was better but honestly this week has been hard.
I share this with you to show you I’m not perfect and I don’t have it all together…and you don’t have to either. Although I try to keep the faith, trust God’s plan, and stay positive all the time, I still have bad days (and some reallly bad days too). And that’s OK. It’s ok to feel angry, it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to be weak, it’s ok to have a really sucky night. It’s a process, not a pass or fail test. The pain won’t last forever and it really is Ok not to be Ok sometimes.
Maybe you can relate? If so, leave a comment. We are in this journey together and I’d love to hear from you!!
Until next time, Let’s Live Bright (or as bright as we can).