I created Sunshine for Single Moms as a place for us solo mommas. A place I hope you will gain new perspectives and new ideas to improve your life. A place you will be encouraged and empowered. A place that can shine some needed sunlight into your days. But I also want it to be a place where we can be open and real, sharing our struggles and the toughest part of our lives. I don’t want to ever come across a I know it all or have it all together, because I certainly don’t.
Today is New Year’s Eve and the day started off great. I had been excited for the new year all week and was looking forward to all that lies ahead in 2019. But that was this morning and here I am now, not feeling the same way.
This week I experienced several hurtful rejections, I tried to ignore them, but combined with the constant reminders that everyone I know had plans with friends or loved ones tonight (plus the loud party going on in the condo above me didn’t help) it sent me over the edge. I sat by myself on New Year’s Eve and I thought Here I am again, alone for another new year. I felt rejected and alone. As my thoughts started to spiral my tears started to flow…and this time I let them. I let myself feel the hurt, the pain and the sadness. Because the hard feelings are just as real and valuable as the excitement and happiness I felt earlier. While it’s typically good practice to be grateful and positive, sometimes we have to let ourselves be free to feel the hard stuff. Letting myself feel and express these painful emotions is healthy and helpful to process and ultimately move past them and towards more positive emotions again.
After a good cry, talking to God, talking to my mom, ordering Chinese food, opening a bottle of red wine and turning on one of my favorite comedies I’m starting to feel better. I’m starting to feel happiness and hope again for all 2019 will bring with it.
I write this because I want to be real and create a place you can be too. On a night full of happy, smiling, perfect pictures I want to let you know it’s OK to not have a picture like that. And it’s OK (and healthy) to feel all the feels (not just the happy ones). So in spite of the pain that 2018 may have held (even up to the very end), know that beautiful, wonderful, exciting things await for YOU in 2019.
How are you feeling this New Year’s? Please share below; I’d love to hear from you!