When Birthdays are Hard

I will be 32 tomorrow and my life is not what I thought it would be…. At. All. Honestly though, I never did have a clear picture of my future. I was never the kid who knew what she wanted to be when she was 6 or the girl who planned out her wedding by age 15 or the college freshman who had a declared major and 5 year plan.  I guess I just figured it would all work out somehow. Even though I didn’t know exactly what it would look like I certainly did not imagine I’d be 32, (very) single and raising a 5 year old on my own. Uh no, that was not the plan. And here’s yet another birthday reminding me of this and that I am not where I want to be in life. So what’s a girl to do?? Here are my tips for having a great birthday (even when it may not feel so great)….


 Do something that makes you happy.

What brings you joy and feeds your soul? Do you feel your happiest and most fulfilled when you paint, write, take photographs, swim, run, read, explore, do yoga? Whatever is it, do it on your birthday! And do it on your own. It may be temping to invite someone along; but there is something so empowering and enriching about doing something you love on your own. Even if you dont have much time, take a little time for yourself; it will boost your mood and bring you fulfillment. It’s YOUR day so do what makes your feel your best.


Spend time with people you love.

This does not have to be on your actual birthday but the weekend before or after plan something fun (dinner, drinks, a movie, bowling, a paint night…) with friends or family who you really  enjoy spending time with. Enjoy each other’s company, have fun, laugh and remember there is so much to enjoy in life!


Reflect on the past year.

Think about the past 12 months and write down 12 blessings from that time. If you can’t think of anything, try scrolling through your social media accounts or photos on your phone to help jog your memory. Even if there have been challenges, pain and hard times there have also been a lot of good times too- remember them, savor them and be grateful for them.


 Plan for the next year.

Allow yourself to dream. What do you want to have accomplished by your next birthday? Then take some time to write out a few ways to help you get there. A birthday is a beautiful new beginning. I love any reason for a fresh start and a birthday is a great one. Decide to make THIS year your best year yet!


Buy yourself a birthday gift.

As single women we don’t have a sweet boyfriend or husband bringing us breakfast in bed and a thoughtful gift with a big bow. But who cares! Be that for yourself! Think of something you wouldn’t normally buy yourself and treat yourself to it. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just something you will love and enjoy. Maybe a book you have been wanting to read, that super cute scarf you saw at Target last week, or a new travel mug so you wont be keep spilling coffee on yourself in the car (or is that just me?). Who knows you better and what you like than YOU? (No one that’s who!)


 Even though things aren’t exactly how I’d like in my life right now I can look forward to another birthday and what the next year will hold. Every year, heck every single day, is a blessing and is what I make of it.  So this year I say, happy birthday to me!


Share below how YOU make your birthday great. I’d love to hear from you!

November 25, 2018
Previous Post Next Post


  • Reply Anna G

    A favorite of mine on my birthday every is eating a confetti cake 🙂 it reminds me of my mom making me my favorite cake for me growing up! I also wear my favorite color or my favorite outfit and (try) to do something fun with my hair! Haha!

    I love.you Rebecca! U are amazing and these are awesome! Love.you so much! You’re doing a great job and I love reading from u! YOU ROCK!!!!!!

    December 19, 2018 at 8:28 pm
    • Reply rebeccaschaefer

      I love those! Aww thank you Anna, that means so much!! And thank you for commenting, it’s so exciting to get a comment:)

      December 21, 2018 at 3:30 am

    Leave a Reply

    You may also like